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Bud Abbott

"You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?"

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"You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?"

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Donna Grant

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

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Donna Grant

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."

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Donna Grant

"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."

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Donna Grant

"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."

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Donna Grant

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."

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Donna Grant

"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."

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Donna Grant

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."

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Donna Grant

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."

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Donna Grant

"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."

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Donna Grant

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

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Bud Abbott
"You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?"
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Bud Abbott
"It gets so boring at home. After all, how many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on television?"
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Bud Abbott
"They disallowed this and disallowed that, and now I can't even get my head above water!"
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Bud Abbott
"They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven't seen any of them around lately."
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Bud Abbott
"Sitting at home the way I do, I'd just love the hear from people. It'd be a great help in passing the time."
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Bud Abbott
"Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third."
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Bud Abbott
"Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can't drive."
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Bud Abbott
"That's why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody."
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