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"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems."
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Exlpore more Car quotes
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car,
"I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car and drive."
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Car,
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."
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