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"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems."
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"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Car
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
Society
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
Life
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
Travel
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
Purpose
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
Humor
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
Society
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
Humor
"Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators."
Cause
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."
Humor
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's a massive motor in a tiny, lightweight car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Get in the race car do what I do then go home. We don't have freedom to do anything anymore."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Divorced men are more likely to meet their car payments than their child support obligations."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unfortunately we don't have all the bits and pieces on the car that we had hoped to have by this stage so we've got to make as good a job as we can with what we have and we feel we are doing well with that at the moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."
Author Name
Personal Development
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