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"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems."
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"I remember when metal was something you really had to search out, and now I hear it on car commercials."
"Having played many roles of scientific intellect I do have an empathy for that world. It's been hard on me because flying the Enterprise for seven years in Star Trek and sitting in Cerebro in X-men has led people to believe that I know what I'm talking about. But I'm still trying to work out how to operate the air conditioning unit on my car."
"So for a year I spent all my time hiding from Jack Charlton in the car park practising my skills."
"We each own one car, and we have a reasonable house. It's a lovely place to be, but it's not extravagant."
Car,
"So I did in fact spend two and a half years in the Middlesbrough car park practising skills. But if you spend four or five or six hours a day practising, you get better."
"A man sits in his car at the traffic lights, waiting for them to go green."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin."
"As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse."
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."
"I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm definitely not religious, and I'm very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people's behavior characteristic of many religious people in the United States. As far as I could tell, there's nothing preachy about Buddhism. I was in a lot of temples, and I still don't know what Buddhists believe, except that at one point Kunio said 'If you do bad things, you will be reborn as an ox.'This makes as much sense to me as anything I ever heard from, for example, the Reverend Pat Robertson."
"Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?"
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