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"With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle."
Audience
"I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one."
Respect
"I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia."
Drama
"Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!"
Sermons
"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
Birthday
"My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with."
Family
"You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear."
Fear
"It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether."
Love
"I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough."
Birthday
"We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves."
Emotional
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"In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too."
Author Name
Personal Development
"On my birthday, I was in Milan for the collections."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have had fans make me the big picture collages of the photo books; I have had fans send me birthday cakes... sing to me on my voicemail. I have had fans flash me. I have had older fans give me their bras and underwear onstage."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent, and there were 150 people waiting for me, all wearing masks of my face."
Author Name
Personal Development
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