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"I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy."
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Press
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
Future
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's a massive motor in a tiny, lightweight car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I listened to it last night for the first time since we started this project. I went out to my car and put it in and went to an empty parking lot and just listened and read the little pamphlet that came with it. After two or three songs I burst into tears."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Get in the race car do what I do then go home. We don't have freedom to do anything anymore."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Divorced men are more likely to meet their car payments than their child support obligations."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unfortunately we don't have all the bits and pieces on the car that we had hoped to have by this stage so we've got to make as good a job as we can with what we have and we feel we are doing well with that at the moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
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