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"I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy."
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"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car,

"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."

"Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."

"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Car,

"I have a need to make these sorts of connections literal sometimes, and a vehicle often helps to do that. I have a relationship to car culture. It isn't really about loving cars. It's sort of about needing them."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
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