"We haven't had any accidents for months nowEverything on that island is perfectly fine."

Humor, Irony, Accident, Reality

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"We haven't had any accidents for months nowEverything on that island is perfectly fine."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

Explore more quotes by Michael Crichton

"In the information society, nobody thinks. We expect to banish paper, but we actually banish thought."

Society

"Readers probably haven't heard much about it yet, but they will. Quantum technology turns ordinary reality upside down."

Technology

"You are the reason why he exists on this earth. You don't have the right to abandon him just because he's inconvenient or has trouble in school."

Family

"No one escapes from life alive."

Life

"The purpose of life is to stay alive. Watch any animal in nature-all it tries to do is stay alive. It doesn't care about beliefs or philosophy. Whenever any animal's behavior puts it out of touch with the realities of its existence, it becomes exinct."

Survival

"Raising children is, in a sense, the reason the society exists in the first place. It's the most important thing that happens, and it's the culmination of all the tools and language and social structure that has evolved."

Family

"This fascination with computer models is something I understand very well. Richard Feynmann called it a disease. I fear he is right."

Technology

"Although personally, I think cyberspace means the end of our species."

Future

"Kids are more advanced these days. The teenage years now start at 11."

Youth

"I would remind you to notice where the claim of consensus is invoked. Consensus is invoked only in situations where the science is not solid enough. Nobody says the consensus of scientists agrees that E=mc2. Nobody says the consensus is that the sun is 93 million miles away. It would never occur to anyone to speak that way."

Science