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"Humor does not rescue us from unhappiness, but enables us to move back from it a little."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
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"The power of lying is much less than the power of what is not to be discussed."
Power
"Bad faith likes discourse on friendship and loyalty."
Friendship
"An omnipotent God is the only being with no reason to lie."
God
"If success is a habit, it is a hard one to acquire."
Success
"Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves."
Compassion
"Three meals plus bedtime make four sure blessings a day."
Gratitude
"To understand someone, find out how he spends his money."
Money
"The only peace is being out of earshot."
Peace
"Why do we never expect dull people to be rascals?"
People
"Taste refers to the past, imagination to the future."
Imagination
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