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Mason Cooley

"Humor does not rescue us from unhappiness, but enables us to move back from it a little."

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"Humor does not rescue us from unhappiness, but enables us to move back from it a little."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."

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"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

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"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

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"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

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"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

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"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

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Assegid Habtewold

"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

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"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."

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Mason Cooley
"Complainers change their complaints, but they never reduce the amount of time spent in complaining."
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"Staid middle age loves the hurricane passions of opera."
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Mason Cooley
"Innocence is thought charming because it offers delightful possibilities for exploitation."
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Mason Cooley
"Most people regard getting their way as a matter of simple justice."
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Mason Cooley
"The passions are the same in every conflict, large or small."
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Mason Cooley
"People believe that photographs are true and therefore cannot be art."
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Mason Cooley
"Office politics are bloody-minded, but weak on content."
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Mason Cooley
"Ultimately, blind faith is the only kind."
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Mason Cooley
"A blocked path also offers guidance."
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Mason Cooley
"Fears and lies intensify consciousness."
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