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"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."
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"To make dollars from cents you have to have sense."
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Personal Development
"A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The price we have to pay for money is sometimes liberty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing induces me to read a novel except when I have to make money by writing about it. I detest them."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To understand someone, find out how he spends his money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Egoism and Money [Goddess of wealth; Lakshmi] are very much at odds [have great enmity]. There should be just enough egoism to accomplish one's work. Beyond that, any expanded egoism and money have great enmity. Money (Lakshmi) stays away from it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money cannot buy you love. But it sure can buy you things that some people will love you for having."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."
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Personal Development
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"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."
Worth
"That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!"
Time
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
Wife
"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."
Money
"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
Man
"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."
Mother
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."
Help
"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
Mother
"You look like a talent scout for a cemetery."
Talent
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
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