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Henny Youngman

"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

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"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've never done work for money ever. If your choices are based on grosses and the film doesn't do well, what does that mean? It leaves you with nothing."

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Amber Hurdle

"The second most dangerous thing about money is that it leaves most of the people who have a lot of it with the unshakable belief that they are intelligent and well informed. The most dangerous thing about it is that it leaves most of the people who do not have a lot of money with the very same belief."

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Amber Hurdle

"We need a complete ban on soft money, which is sort of an enveloping problem, and a ceiling on the amount of money that can be spent on a given race."

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Amber Hurdle

"The fellow that has no money is poor. The fellow that has nothing but money is poorer still."

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Amber Hurdle

"And I think the more money you put in people's hands, the more they will spend And if they don't spend it, they invest it. And investing it is another way of creating jobs. It puts money into mutual funds or other kinds of banks that can go out and make loans, and we need to do that."

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Amber Hurdle

"Mandatory minimums have been shown to be discriminatory and waste the taxpayers' money."

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't matter how much money you got, there's only two kinds of people: there's saved people and there's lost people."

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Amber Hurdle

"For I can raise no money by vile means."

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Amber Hurdle

"I thought I had too much money to be happy and normal. Thousand of pounds is just too much for a working person to handle all of a sudden, and I felt I didn't deserve it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am afraid that the ordinary citizen will not like to be told that the banks can and do create and destroy money. And they who control the credit of a nation direct the policy of governments, and hold in the hollow of their hands the destiny of the people."

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Henny Youngman
"I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him."
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"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."
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Henny Youngman
"Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to."
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Henny Youngman
"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
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Henny Youngman
"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
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Henny Youngman
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
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Henny Youngman
"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
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Henny Youngman
"You look like a talent scout for a cemetery."
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Henny Youngman
"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."
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Henny Youngman
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."
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