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"At CBS, I'm in your house. I'm mindful of that. When I do standup, you're in my home and I can say what I want to."
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"A magician with decreasing practice sessions will give defective performances."
"Think like magician, present like magician and perform like magician."
"I had a flair for comedy and could give a sustained performance."
"As a magician you will miss the hundred percent of the applause if you don't perform."
"No matter how many times audience has already applauded, the sound of their applause will get louder with the better quality of your magic effect."
"Those that are most slow in making a promise are the most faithful in the performance of it."
"The thing about performance, even if it's only an illusion, is that it is a celebration of the fact that we do contain within ourselves infinite possibilities."
"I wanted to make a classical piece that was actually designed to be a CD, not designed for performance."
"It wasn't just about flashing lights and pinball machines blowing up and things like that. It was about using encores, bringing back the good songs and using techniques that I knew about from rock performance."
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson
"Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled."
"That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil."
"I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again."
"The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those - maybe everyone - who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something - innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should never be pressed"
"School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I remain thankful. I would have died otherwise. As soon as I was able, I read, alone. Under the covers with a flashlight or in my corner of the attic - I sought solace in books. It was from books that I started to get an inkling of the kinds of assholes I was dealing with. I found allies too, in books, characters my age who were going through or had triumphed against the same bullshit."
"Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands."
"I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane."
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