"People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."

Car, People, Driving, Will

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"People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."

Exlpore more Car quotes

"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

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"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

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"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Racing

"The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate."

Steve Case, American Businessman

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"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car."

Evan Davis, British Economist

Car,

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

Woody Allen, American Director

Car, Being

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

E. L. Doctorow, American Author

Car, Driving, Night

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Dogs, Nothing, Right

"I remember walking the dog one day, I saw a car full of teenage girls, and one of them rolled down the window and yelled, 'Marc Jacobs!' in a French accent."

Marc Jacobs, American Designer

Car, Day, Girls, Teenage

"It just seemed too weird to me. I don't know, maybe they were smoking a joint in the car downstairs from their parents' apartment. I had to go that far to put together a scenario of how they could have possibly recognized me."

Marc Jacobs, American Designer

Car, Parents, Smoking

Explore more quotes by Demetri Martin

"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything."

Sports

"Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest."

Computer

"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'"

Ability

"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."

Birthday

"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is."

Fun

"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."

Time

"Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral."

Saying

"I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs."

Time

"The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly."

Invention

"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."

Love