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Rodney Dangerfield

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."

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"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."

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Asa Don Brown

"One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny."

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Asa Don Brown

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."

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Asa Don Brown

"I've always regarded it as a test of character to dislike the Kennedys. I don't really respect anyone who falls for Camelot."

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Asa Don Brown

"The easiest way to get a reputation is to go outside the fold, shout around for a few years as a violent atheist or a dangerous radical, and then crawl back to the shelter."

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Asa Don Brown

"Everywhere I go, I am asked if I think university stifles writers. My opinion is that it doesn't stifle enough of them."

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Asa Don Brown

"He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style."

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Asa Don Brown

"We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else's opinion that we do not look happy."

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Asa Don Brown

"If you must tell me your opinions, tell me what you believe in. I have plenty of doubts of my own."

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Asa Don Brown

"Many a trace, and many a germ of this infantile disease, to which without a doubt, I also am a victim, has been chased away by your brochure, or will yet be eradicated by it."

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Asa Don Brown

"God had said to listen to what five people tell you and don't hold on to your own opinion. The person who holds on to his opinion is isolated. If you insist upon it, it will harm you as well as others. This true-false is a relative truth; it is a mundane [worldly] truth. One should not insist upon it."

Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"Men who do things without being told draw the most wages."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
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