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"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
Time,
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"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."
Author Name
Personal Development
"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The value of time is immeasurable."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."
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Personal Development
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"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
Opinion
"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."
Wife
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
Wife
"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
Time
"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
Fight
"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."
Wife
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."
Parents
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
Time
"I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face."
Blind
"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot."
Mother
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