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"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
Time,
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"Life is defined by time and seasons."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you want to know the value of a minute ask the person who came to the train station or airport a minute late."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't equate effective living to being busy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All things are made beautiful at a timely hour."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Any moment which is not captured is loss in the events of time."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think Pete did have a hard time as a kid with his appearance. But don't all kids have a hard time? God, I had a hard time, too. I was little with bow legs and rickets. I used to get picked on like everybody used to get picked on."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Time is a concrete product."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Time must be converted into product."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
Luck
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."
Parents
"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."
Birthday
"I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face."
Blind
"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."
Mother
"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
Parents
"What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm."
Favorite
"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
Ugly
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
Car
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
Argument
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