"Just remember this, Missy, escargot ain't nothin' but snails with their noses stuck in the air."

Humor, Perspective, Food, Metaphor

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"Just remember this, Missy, escargot ain't nothin' but snails with their noses stuck in the air."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

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" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

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"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Identity, Giants, Truth

"What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Power, Today

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Appearance, Opinion, Judgment

"Reason like a sphere? What type of reasoning does a wooden sphere do?""The circular type, I should think. And, by coincidence, it is my favorite type as well. Perhaps that's why I'm so good at the game."

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"Lovemaking is a big grammatical error, i think it should be, LustMaking."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

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"If there was an elephant in the supermarket, she'd either not see it at all, or call it Mrs Jones and talk about fishcakes."

Jeanette Winterson, British Novelist

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"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

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Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"Maybe in fairytales you're only as old as you feel, but here in L. A. you're every second as old as your pores."

Aging

"There isn't much a pan of warm Brownies and a glass of milk will fix. In less it's low grain prices. Or poverty. Or the national debt. I guess there are a few things, but nothing you have to worry about right this minute."

Comfort

"If I want to catch the damn worm I get outta bed."

Discipline

"Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative."

Endurance

"Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well."

Dreams

"There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers."

Loyalty

"And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever."

Irony

"Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head."

Satire

"A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul."

Insight

"I fear that someday you will abandon the joys we share and find another not worthy of your charms."

Insecurity