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"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Agnes Darling, if such should be we never meet again, while firing my last shot, I will gently breathe the name of my wife - Agnes - and with wishes even for my enemies I will make the plunge and try to swim to the other shore."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a dinner and she invited me to dinner and the hostess had seen me and said, 'You cannot bring him.' but I think that I've done enough to shatter the image."
Author Name
Personal Development
"And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My wife and I have always trusted each other, and I have to thank her strength."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The studio rented a house for my wife in Los Angeles under a phony name to keep reporters away. Whenever I wanted to visit her and my children, I would have to sneak in the back door after dark."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."
England
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
Night
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
Family
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
Night
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"
Children
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
Sex
"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
Coffee
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
Love
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