"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"

Wife, Bed, Man

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"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"

Exlpore more Wife quotes

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Wife, Years

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Wife,

"Agnes Darling, if such should be we never meet again, while firing my last shot, I will gently breathe the name of my wife - Agnes - and with wishes even for my enemies I will make the plunge and try to swim to the other shore."

Wild Bill Hickok, American Celebrity

Wife, Enemies, Name, Will

"We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York."

Darius Rucker, American Musician

Wife, Baby

"I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in."

Michael W. Smith, American Musician

Wife, Day, Kids, Relationships

"I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a dinner and she invited me to dinner and the hostess had seen me and said, 'You cannot bring him.' but I think that I've done enough to shatter the image."

Michael York, British Actor

Wife, Film

"And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it."

Mel Tillis, American Musician

Wife, Care

"Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife."

P. J. O'Rourke, American Comedian

Wife,

"The studio rented a house for my wife in Los Angeles under a phony name to keep reporters away. Whenever I wanted to visit her and my children, I would have to sneak in the back door after dark."

Max von Sydow, Swedish Actor

Wife, Children, Name, Visit

"Two more years were to go by before I knew anything about William Blake. Many years later, when his wife died, my godfather gave me the two books as a remembrance."

Laurence Housman, English Playwright

Wife, Books, Remembrance, Years

Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."

Family

"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."

Night

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

First

"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."

Sex

"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

Coffee

"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."

Computer

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

Time

"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."

Evil

"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

Father

"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."

Life