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"Ranger is an unusual name,' she managed. 'Is it a nickname?'It's a street name,' Ranger said. 'I was a Ranger in the army.'I heard about them Rangers on TV,' Grandma said. 'I heard they get dogs pregnant.'My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out.My mother froze, her fork poised in midair.That's sort of a joke,' I told Grandma. 'Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life.'I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."
"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."
"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."
Explore more quotes by Janet Evanovich
"I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since."
"The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang,' Grandma said. 'Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting."
"I like the way you've let your hair go curly,' he finally said. 'Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,'Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum."
"Aren't you something,' Grandma said. 'I never saw a midget up close.' 'Little person,' Briggs said. 'And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either."
"On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time."
"I wasn't sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others."
"That's how you tell what a man's really made of. It's one thing for a man to be big and brave and kill a spider. Any man could do that. Trailin' after a woman when she's shopping for thongs and push-up bras is a whole other category of man. And then if you want to see how far you can go with it, you ask him to carry one of those little pink bags they give you."
"You never want to look in a mirror,' Lula said. 'Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym."
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