"It's no treat being in bed with me."

"I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting."

"My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing."

"Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny."

"There are things that I won't do on the radio. I mean, the next logical question is, what won't you do. I say, well, you know, you've got to find out when you're on the air."

"I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that. I need to be hated."

"I don't talk about my salary."

"'The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales."

"I think people of lesser talent will become stars."

"When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience."

"We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me. I have started producing a sound for the channel."

"Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good."

"And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and let someone see the full range of emotions. If you're going to be strong on the radio, you got to let it all out, even the ugly stuff. And you can't apologize for it."

"Okay, well, I guess I'm still a kid. Because when I get really angry and fired up and I feel like my back is up against the wall, I will say vicious things."

"Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low."

"I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do."

"I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death."

"I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock."

"I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful."

"I will never feel successful."