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"Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good."
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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
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Personal Development

"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
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Personal Development

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
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Personal Development

"A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it."
Author Name
Personal Development

"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
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Personal Development

"Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree."
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Personal Development

"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."
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Personal Development

"Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out."
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Personal Development

"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."
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Personal Development

"And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did."
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Personal Development
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"I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do."
People

"I will never feel successful."
Success

"I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock."
Religion

"Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny."
First

"Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good."
Funny

"There are things that I won't do on the radio. I mean, the next logical question is, what won't you do. I say, well, you know, you've got to find out when you're on the air."
Question

"It's no treat being in bed with me."
Bed

"I think people of lesser talent will become stars."
Talent

"We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me. I have started producing a sound for the channel."
Events

"I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful."
Success
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