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"I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting."
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"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."

"Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work."

"Love by the sweat of thy brow.Not through whispered words of hollow sound or lofty dreams ne'er substance bound that more than oft do run aground. Nay, love with mighty, blistered hands that turn the soil and carve the land. A bearer of toil and golden band. Be strong! A founder of the feast! Protective knight who slays the beast! For promises and vows aloud are naught but wispy veneer shroud like cobwebs, frail, the airy words and wooing fail. So work, my darling. Toil as proof. Thy loyal heart be drained of youth and yet beat on, incessant sound. Both feet take root within the ground, and service be thy kingly crown.Love by the sweat of thy brow."

"Your life content reduces with employment."

"A specialist's mind is a slave to his specialization."
Explore more quotes by Howard Stern

"Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low."

"When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience."

"My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing."

"I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock."

"Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good."

"And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and let someone see the full range of emotions. If you're going to be strong on the radio, you got to let it all out, even the ugly stuff. And you can't apologize for it."

"I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do."

"'The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales."
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