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"There are things that I won't do on the radio. I mean, the next logical question is, what won't you do. I say, well, you know, you've got to find out when you're on the air."
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"I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question."

"My best attribute is knowing when not to answer stupid questions."

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"Examine each question in terms of what is ethically and aesthetically right, as well as what is economically expedient."
Explore more quotes by Howard Stern

"We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me. I have started producing a sound for the channel."

"Okay, well, I guess I'm still a kid. Because when I get really angry and fired up and I feel like my back is up against the wall, I will say vicious things."

"And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and let someone see the full range of emotions. If you're going to be strong on the radio, you got to let it all out, even the ugly stuff. And you can't apologize for it."

"Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good."

"'The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales."

"Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low."

"I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do."
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