"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."

"A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her."

"Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor."

"France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America.""

"It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others."

"The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious."

"The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him."

"A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet."

"After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him."

"In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place."

"A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little "personal characteristics.""

"Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them."

"No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time."

"Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her."

"Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man."

"Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself."

"Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds."

"Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever."

"Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing."

"Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification."

"There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them."

"There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly."

"Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times."

"A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever."

"A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant."

"When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living."

"Variety is the spice of love."

"Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty."

"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one."

"What a man calls his "conscience" is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love."

"Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense."

"Home is any four walls that enclose the right person."

"The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head."

"A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her."

"Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you."

"When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to."

"You will never win if you never begin."

"A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world."

"A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor."

"And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them."

"A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it."

"It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing."

"It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

"Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near."

"A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest."

"Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest."

"Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place."

"There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age."

"A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting."