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"Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification."
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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
Explore more quotes by Helen Rowland
"Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time."
"Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him."
"The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity."
"Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it."
"Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?"
"A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet."
"A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her."
"It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others."
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