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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect."
Love
"I was motivated by just thinking that if you had all this external success that everyone would love you and everything would be peaceful and wonderful."
Love
"When I start writing songs and it turns into an overly belabored intellectual process, I just throw it out."
Music
"I love songs that are very autobiographical."
Love
"It's when someone has an agenda of their own for the record that it doesn't work for me."
Work
"They're different kinds of challenges depending upon what phase of life I'm in."
Life
"As long as I can say what it is that I need to say, then I'll fit whatever I'm trying to say around a melody."
Trying
"I could write six songs in one day with everything that's going on."
Day
"I wish people could acheive what they think would bring them happiness in order for them to realize that thats not really what happiness is."
Happiness
"At one point, I was just perceived as only being angry, but now I'm being perceived as angry, peaceful, and spiritual."
Being
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