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"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."
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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."
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Personal Development
"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."
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Personal Development
"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
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Personal Development
"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
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Personal Development
"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."
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Personal Development
"Never make fun of people who are different...unless they have more money, power and influence. Then you must."
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Personal Development
"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."
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Personal Development
"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."
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Personal Development
"We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."
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Personal Development
"I will say further, as an officer of an enormous international conglomerate, that nobody who is doing well in this economy ever even wonders waht is really going on.We are chimpanzees. We are orangutans."
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"Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized."
Choice
"Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue."
Virtue
"I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London."
People
"Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure."
Failure
"Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm."
Man
"Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third."
Politics
"Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you."
Man
"Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name."
Patriotism
"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."
Art
"Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul."
Quality
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