"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."

Satire, Humor, Religion, Ignorance, Critique

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"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."

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"If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."

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"A fishing-rod was a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other."

Samuel Johnson, English Author

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"You cut life to pieces with your epigrams."

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"This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth - ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!"

Mark Twain, American Author

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"Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

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"Silena appeared out of the woods, her sword drawn. Her Aphrodite armour was pink and red, colour coordinated to match her clothes and makeup. She looked like Guerilla Warfare Barbie."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

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"The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

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"I understand we'll be attending your friend Miss Worthington's Christmas ball. Perhaps I'll find a suitable-- which is to say wealthy-- wife among the ladies attending."And perhaps they will run screaming for the convent."

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"All men are fools, if truth be told, but the ones in motley are more amusing than ones with crowns."

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Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce

"Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."

Happiness

"Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills."

Body

"What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country."

Nation

"Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope."

Hope

"Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay."

Life

"Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead."

Friendship

"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."

Wisdom

"Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead."

Power

"Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable."

Famous

"To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice."

Positive