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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Though it be in the power of the weakest arm to take away life, it is not in the strongest to deprive us of death."
Death
"We carry within us the wonders we seek without us."
Wonder
"Life itself is but the shadow of death, and souls departed but the shadows of the living."
Life
"All things are artificial, for nature is the art of God."
Art
"Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles."
May
"It is we that are blind, not fortune."
Blind
"Obstinacy in a bad cause is but constancy in a good."
Cause
"Men live by intervals of reason under the sovereignty of humor and passion."
Humor
"Be charitable before wealth makes you covetous."
Wealth
"We all labor against our own cure, for death is the cure of all diseases."
Death
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