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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

"Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you."

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
Explore more quotes by Thomas Browne


"It is the common wonder of all men, how among so many million faces, there should be none alike."


"Charity But how shall we expect charity towards others, when we are uncharitable to ourselves? Charity begins at home, is the voice of the world; yet is every man his greatest enemy, and, as it were, his own executioner."
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