"Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it's painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it's extremely painful."

Comedy, Years

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"Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it's painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it's extremely painful."

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"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."

Joss Whedon, American Writer

Comedy, Humor, Darkness, Balance, Storytelling

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Comedy, Hate, Humor, Emotion

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Comedy, Criticism, Truth, Power, Life

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Comedy, Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life

"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Comedy, Humor, Anticipation, Chaos, Social

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

Tahereh Mafi, Iranian Author

Comedy, Humor, Conflict, Absurdity, Dialogue

"I got everybody on my side through comedy."

Ruth Buzzi, American Actress

Comedy,

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

Kiera Cass, American Novelist

Comedy, Humor, Patience, Observation, Life

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

Eoin Colfer, Irish Author

Comedy, Humor, Reality, Observation, Irony

"My favorite laser disk ever was the laser disk for The Graduate, which had a commentary track that wasn't even the filmmakers, it was a professor, some film criticism guy who just happen to be this amazing commentator who went off into the whole theory of comedy."

Jay Roach, American Director

Comedy, Criticism, Favorite, Film

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"Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself."

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"Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing."

People

"The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show... Cops would come by - often just in time to see the act they wanted to see."

Time

"I'm not sure why writing for others became harder. Probably a reluctance to give away anything you might conceivably use yourself caused a block. I did it, but it remained hard when it had once been easy."

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"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it."

People

"If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you."

Children

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Exlpore more Comedy quotes

"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."

"I got everybody on my side through comedy."

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

"My favorite laser disk ever was the laser disk for The Graduate, which had a commentary track that wasn't even the filmmakers, it was a professor, some film criticism guy who just happen to be this amazing commentator who went off into the whole theory of comedy."

Explore more quotes by Dick Cavett

"Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself."

"Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing."

"Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?"

"It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear."

"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"

"I think I'd be pretty easy to write for."

"The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show... Cops would come by - often just in time to see the act they wanted to see."

"I'm not sure why writing for others became harder. Probably a reluctance to give away anything you might conceivably use yourself caused a block. I did it, but it remained hard when it had once been easy."

"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it."

"If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you."