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"That's why I'm not on social media. People are way too open about their private lives. I don't need to see pictures of what somebody had for lunch or hear about how difficult their last bowel movement was or see on a map where they were when either one happened."
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"I don't need a personal trainer, I need someone to stalk me and threaten to kick my ass when I eat and drink stuff I'm not supposed to!"
"I had never been a dresser. My shirts were all faded and shrunken, 5 or 6 years old, threadbare. My pants the same. I hated department stores, I hated the clerks, they acted so superior, they seemed to know the secret of life, they had a confidence I didn't possess. My shoes were always broken down and old, I disliked shoe stores too. I never purchased anything until it was completely unusable, and that included automobiles. It wasn't a matter of thrift, I just couldn't bear to be a buyer needing a seller, seller being so handsome and aloof and superior. Besides, it all took time, time when you could just be laying around and drinking."
"She's a gypsy girl living in a materialistic world, Unattached to most things but in love with life itself."
"Bad taste creates many more millionaires than good taste."
"An indoor man eats nothing, except that which is prepared and served by his mother with lots of insults, an outdoor man eats that which he buys, prepares, served and eaten with lots of respect."
"Don't you go to the movies?""Mostly just to eat popcorn in the dark."
"To waste valuable time on stressing over those who treat you unkindly, accomplish nothing of importance. Rather, that time should be spent working on most important things, that actually create something of value that is worth your time."
Explore more quotes by Janet Evanovich
"I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since."
"The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang,' Grandma said. 'Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting."
"I like the way you've let your hair go curly,' he finally said. 'Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,'Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum."
"Aren't you something,' Grandma said. 'I never saw a midget up close.' 'Little person,' Briggs said. 'And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either."
"On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time."
"I wasn't sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others."
"That's how you tell what a man's really made of. It's one thing for a man to be big and brave and kill a spider. Any man could do that. Trailin' after a woman when she's shopping for thongs and push-up bras is a whole other category of man. And then if you want to see how far you can go with it, you ask him to carry one of those little pink bags they give you."
"You never want to look in a mirror,' Lula said. 'Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym."
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