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"When something is dirty you wash it. That's what my mum always said.Yet...When you have dirty money and you launder it, people jump up and down.I guess that's life."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
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Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development
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"An unknown road will always lead somewhere where you haven't been before."
Adventure
"Meetings! Meetings! Meetings!Do they ever achieve anything or do they just let a lot of hot air out of an already over inflated balloon?"
Communication
"I know where I come from, but what I want to know is, where am I going?"
Identity
"Animals will always have sad eyes because they can see into the soul of man."
Animals
"You can't lie to a dead person.They already know the truth."
Spiritual
"Candy always tastes better when the expectations are high."
Happiness
"A smile is what makes a face beautiful."
Beauty
"Each of us has no peers, because each of us is unique in who we are and what we have experienced.Anyone who tells you otherwise has quite obviously not met any of their peers either!"
Identity
"If life gets you down.Just try digging a deeper hole."
Humor
"Shadows only come to life in our imaginations.Unfortunately for me, I've got a very vivid imagination."
Psychology
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