"I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma.'You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma."

Comedy, Humor, Driving, Family, Sarcasm

9

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma.'You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma."

Exlpore more Comedy quotes

"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."

Joss Whedon, American Writer

Comedy, Humor, Darkness, Balance, Storytelling

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Comedy, Hate, Humor, Emotion

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Comedy, Criticism, Truth, Power, Life

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Comedy, Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

Tahereh Mafi, Iranian Author

Comedy, Humor, Conflict, Absurdity, Dialogue

"I got everybody on my side through comedy."

Ruth Buzzi, American Actress

Comedy,

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

Kiera Cass, American Novelist

Comedy, Humor, Patience, Observation, Life

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

Eoin Colfer, Irish Author

Comedy, Humor, Reality, Observation, Irony

"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year."

Todd Barry, American Comedian

Comedy, Road

"The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin 'Tubby' Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole."

David Sedaris, American Writer

Comedy, Humor, Performance, Christmas, Character

Explore more quotes by Kami Garcia

"Evil doesn't always have one face, Ethan."

Acceptance, Evil, Truth, Warning, Perception

"Nobody the dead man & Nobody the livingNobody is giving in & Nobody is givingNobody hears me but just Nobody caresNobody fears me but Nobody just staresNobody belongs to me & Nobody remainsNo Nobody knows nothingAll that remains are remains."

Isolation, Identity, Existence, Silence

"She was rage and vengeance, wrath and malice, in beautifully twisted human form."

Resilience, Emotion, Darkness, Power, Chaos

"She didn't say a work, and I gave up trying, because you couldn't hear either one of us over the shattering noise of hearts breaking and the looming shadow of the last word, the one we refused to say."

Space, Silence, Emotion, Loss, Heartbreak

"Hey, Ethan.'Yeah?'Remember the Twinkie on the bus? The one I gave you in second grade, the day we met?'The one you found on the floor and gave me without telling me? Nice.'He grinned and shot the ball. 'It never really fell on the floor. I made that part up."

Connection, Memory, Friendship, Truth, Humor

"Are you kidding? I'm supposed to put my books in this filthy tin coffin?"

Learning, Frustration, School, Freedom, Emotion

"Seventeen moons, seventeen years,Eyes where Dark or Light appears,Gold for yes and green for no, Seventeen the last to know."

Literature, Fate, Time, Prediction, Identity

"The stuffs you're good at and the stuffs you're bad at are just different parts of the same thing. Same goes for people you love and the people you don't. And the people who love you and the people who don't. The only thing that mattered was that you cared about a few people."

Connection, Relationship, Love, Acceptance

"It was unbelievable. She was standing there, staring at him like he was a real rock star."

Growth, Admiration, Surprise, Emotion, Recognition

"It's funny how you can live somewhere your whole life, but not really see it."

Clarity, Perception, Awareness, Life, Reflection