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"When we age we shed many skins: ego, arrognace, dominance, self-opionated, unreliable, pessimism, rudeness, selfish, uncaring ... Wow, it's good to be old!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Lines and greyness are nature's way of telling you not to fuck with someone - the equivalent of yellow and black lines on a wasp, or the markings on the back of a black widow spider."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All true tea lovers not only like their tea strong, but like it a little stronger with each year that passes - a fact which is recognized in the extra ration issued to old-age pensioners."
Author Name
Personal Development
"With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and sexuality, a very old man is nothing but a gigantic infant with white hair and wrinkles."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Old Age homes are civilization's dumpsites for human beings who it cannot exploit further."
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Personal Development
"Getting older comes with abilities. Being old comes with disabilities."
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Personal Development
"Jason hated being an old man."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think it's something like Mr. Peter Sloane and the octogenarians. The other evening Mrs. Sloane was reading a newspaper ans she said to Mr. Sloane 'I see here that another octogenarian has just died. What is an Octogenarian, Peter?' And Mr. Sloane said he didn't know, but they must be very sickly creatures, for you never heard tell of them but they were dying."
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Personal Development
"As we age, we become our parents; live long enough and we see faces repeat in time."
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Personal Development
"Almost everybody I know has died, Grandma said. 'Bunch of wimps."
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Personal Development
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."
Thought
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
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