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Darynda Jones

"I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly."

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"I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

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"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

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Amber Hurdle

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

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Amber Hurdle

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

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Amber Hurdle

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

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Amber Hurdle

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

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Amber Hurdle

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Explore more quotes by Darynda Jones

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Darynda Jones
"I still had my hand on his side, careful not to press. He reached out and hooked a finger into the belt loop on my jeans. It felt so natural, so fulfilling, to be there with him. To talk with him as if we did it everyday. As if we'd been doung it every day for years. Not even the heat of Ian's fury could penetrate the warmth I was getting from Reyes."
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Darynda Jones
"Does Uncle Bob have anything?""I heard he has an STD.""I mean on the women.""Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs."
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Darynda Jones
"In the meantime, I had to get dressed and go to work, because going to work in my pajamas was apparently the definition of unprofessional. Cookie's words. I looked it up though. She was wrong. Webster's mentioned nothing about pajamas."
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Darynda Jones
"Paperwork wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the paper. And the work."
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Darynda Jones
"Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt."
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Darynda Jones
"Amber was busy flirting with a rookie named Dead Meat if he didn't stop flirting back. She was eleven, for heaven's sake! Of course, he may have just been humoring her. And it was a little cute. In a gross, Chester-the-molester kind of way."
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Darynda Jones
"Fresh writing and an original twist on an old idea. As much as this term is hated in the industry, it doesn't make it any less true. High concept. Simply put, you take a universal concept, something that has been done a million times (because everything has been done a million times), and add a fresh twist to it. Something no one saw coming. But mostly fresh writing! Keep it clean, simple, and compelling."
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Darynda Jones
"There are very few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosives."
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Darynda Jones
"I cannot tell you how important fresh, crisp writing is for an aspiring writer. Plot is great. The overall concept is super important. But the writing is what sells your work. It all boils down to the words you choose and the order in which you arrange them."
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Darynda Jones
"I made a decision long ago not to make any apologies. Romance rocks, and even though my books don't actually fall into the romance genre, I tout them as very much being about the romance. It's fun. We're all obsessed with it. And it's human nature. Remember, NO APOLOGIES! Write what 's in your heart!"
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