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"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
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Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."

"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."

"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."

"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."

"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."

"Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators."
Exlpore more Circumstance quotes

"It always remains true that if we had been greater, circumstance would have been less strong against us."

"I would suggest that barbarism be considered as a permanent and universal human characteristic which becomes more or less pronounced according to the play of circumstances."

"I came from poverty and was part of those circumstances."

"We are all victims because of the circumstances, but I'm not sure what to say to any one who has lost a loved one. I know the feeling myself, and words just don't do much to ease the pain."

"I do not pretend to write much of a letter. You know under what circumstances I am writing."

"So often we try to alter circumstances to suit ourselves, instead of letting them alter us, which is what they are meant to do."

"Don't wait for extraordinary circumstance to do good; try to use ordinary situations."

"Circumstances define us; they force us onto one road or another, and then they punish us for it."

"We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within."

"You don't underestimate either players or audience in any circumstances."
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