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Dave Barry

"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

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"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

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Donna Grant

"I would suggest that barbarism be considered as a permanent and universal human characteristic which becomes more or less pronounced according to the play of circumstances."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"If one does not interfere in the obtained worldly life, then worldly life will run straight forward & smoothly. But one keeps interfering in the obtained worldly life. From the moment he wakes up, he interferes. If there is no interference in the unfolding circumstances one has obtained, then God's control will prevail, but by interfering one takes over the control himself."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"When many circumstances come together, one will get food to eat. When many circumstances come together, one gets to go hungry (one will not get food to eat). One goes hungry when many more circumstances come together. A greater number of circumstances are needed for an unfavorable situation, and less for favorable situation."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"It always remains true that if we had been greater, circumstance would have been less strong against us."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"It will be quite satisfactory if you open them gradually, as the circumstances may require; but the President assures you that this will not be the case if you make a treaty with England first."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Libertarians typically argue that particular obligations, at least under normal circumstances, must be created by consent; they cannot be unilaterally imposed by others."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"A person who can't pay gets another person who can't pay to guarantee that he can pay. Like a person with two wooden legs getting another person with two wooden legs to guarantee that he has got two natural legs. It don't make either of them able to do a walking-match."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Dwell upon the brightest parts in every prospect... and strive to be pleased with the present circumstances."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"And I am also here to say that if something were to happen, we are prepared to respond swiftly, to respond effectively, and to respond strongly. That is our tradition as a country. And that is a tradition that we will uphold, regardless of any circumstance because this nation is one that is very, very strong and, indeed, extraordinarily resilient."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Circumstances do not determine a man, they reveal him."

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Dave Barry
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."

Society

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Dave Barry
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."

Life

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Dave Barry
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."

Travel

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Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."

Purpose

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Dave Barry
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."

Humor

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Dave Barry
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."

Society

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Dave Barry
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."

Humor

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Dave Barry
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."

Humor

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Dave Barry
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."

Society

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Dave Barry
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."

Television

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