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"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
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Exlpore more Circumstance quotes
"Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him."
"When many circumstances come together, one will get food to eat. When many circumstances come together, one gets to go hungry (one will not get food to eat). One goes hungry when many more circumstances come together. A greater number of circumstances are needed for an unfavorable situation, and less for favorable situation."
"If one does not interfere in the obtained worldly life, then worldly life will run straight forward & smoothly. But one keeps interfering in the obtained worldly life. From the moment he wakes up, he interferes. If there is no interference in the unfolding circumstances one has obtained, then God's control will prevail, but by interfering one takes over the control himself."
"Had we really succeeded therefore in altering the period of vibration, which Maxwell, as I have just noted, held to be impossible? Or was there some disturbing circumstances from one or more factors which distorted the result?"
"Planets are too dim to be detected with existing equipment, far away, except in these very special circumstances where they're seen by their gravitational effect."
"Tear man out of his outward circumstances; and what he then is; that only is he."
"I would suggest that barbarism be considered as a permanent and universal human characteristic which becomes more or less pronounced according to the play of circumstances."
"Don't wait for extraordinary circumstance to do good; try to use ordinary situations."
"Darwin based his theory on generalizations that were strictly empirical. You can go out and see that organisms do vary, that variations are inherited, and that every organism is capable of increasing its numbers in sufficiently favorable circumstances."
"Circumstances give in reality to every political principle, its distinguishing colour, and discriminating effect. The circumstances are what render every civil and political scheme beneficial or noxious to mankind."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"Passing the SAT: My personal theory is that it has to do with how much money you send them in the mail. I think the amounts they tell you to send are actually just suggested minimum donations - if you get my drift."
"At a national political convention, you have hundreds of people who consider themselves at least as important as the Secretary of Commerce. If it's a Democratic convention, you also have dozens of A-list Hollywood and music celebrities. (If it's a Republican convention, you have Bo Derek.) Also you have swarms of lower-ranking Washington minions with titles like Deputy Assistant to the Associate Deputy Assistant Chief of Staff who are trying to move up the ladder to Deputy Associate to the Assistant Acting Deputy Assistant Understudy."
"Natives of the Florida Keys often refer to themselves as Conchs, and for good reason: They have been drinking."
"U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York Daily News reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor knives, and pepper spray on fourteen commercial flights without getting caught. Then ABC News reports that it smuggled fifteen pounds of uranium into New York City. Then Fox News reports that it flew Osama bin Laden to Washington, D.C., and videotaped him touring the White House."
"We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it."
"I liked making people laugh, and I decided I was an atheist early on. My Dad was all right with that. We argued about it all the time, but it was good-natured. He was the most open-minded human being I've ever known."
"You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!"
"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
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