"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"

Cause, Confusion, Foreigners

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"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"

Exlpore more Cause quotes

"They never fail who die in a great cause."

Lord Byron, British Poet

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"Every man is a creative cause of what happens, a primum mobile with an original movement."

Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philosopher

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"An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason."

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"For these cultures, getting rid of the pain without addressing the deeper cause would be like shutting off a fire alarm while the fire's still going."

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"We are all ready to be savage in some cause. The difference between a good man and a bad one is the choice of the cause."

William James, American Philosopher

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"So inscrutable is the arrangement of causes and consequences in this world, that a two-penny duty on tea, unjustly imposed in a sequestered part of it, changes the condition of all its inhabitants."

Thomas Jefferson, American President

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"A cause that only serves me is much like a door on the edge of a cliff, it doesn't open to anywhere good."

Craig D. Lounsbrough, American Author

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"As much purity one has within, his external circumstances will be that much more favorable. As much impurity there is within, there will be a corresponding amount of unfavorable external circumstances."

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"I wanted to cause trouble, but I know now it stays with you."

Jeanette Winterson, British Novelist

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Dada Bhagwan, Indian Spiritual Leader

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Explore more quotes by Demetri Martin

"People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."

Car, People, Driving, Will

"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"

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"I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs."

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"Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest."

Computer,

"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."

Love, Trust, Women, Cute

"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."

Letters,

"The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly."

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"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything."

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"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is."

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"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."

Time, Heart