top of page
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

Standard 
 Customized
"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

More 

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Car

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

Friendship

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."

Time

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

Now

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

Car

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

People

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

Power

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."

Press

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."

Future

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

Purpose

More 

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"I had been offered a Hollywood contract before my 18th birthday. It gave me the spark I needed."

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"With a recent birthday, I've been acting now for twenty years."

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"When I was little I thought, isn't it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it's July 4th."

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"We didn't have a whole lot of money when I was growing up either. I would always ask for magic books or magic tricks for my birthday or for Christmas and the rest of the year I either had to mow lawns or find part time jobs to help supplement the cost of doing magic."

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame."

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit."

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."

Author Name

Personal Development

Quote_1.png
Aberjhani

"On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles."

Author Name

Personal Development

bottom of page