"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

Birthday, Singing

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"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

Exlpore more Birthday quotes

"I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too."

Liv Tyler, American Actress

Birthday, Age, Thought, Old

"My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing."

Chris Brown, American Musician

Birthday, Kiss, Performance, Destiny

"We didn't have a whole lot of money when I was growing up either. I would always ask for magic books or magic tricks for my birthday or for Christmas and the rest of the year I either had to mow lawns or find part time jobs to help supplement the cost of doing magic."

Lance Burton, American Entertainer

Birthday, Money, Time, Books

"I'm trying to get the record that I made at my birthday party last year, trying to get that out, and the lawyers are diddling around with it and it probably won't be out until next year. I don't know."

Marian McPartland, English Musician

Birthday, Lawyers, Party, Trying

"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."

Rodney Dangerfield, American Comedian

Birthday, Wife, Man, Respect

"My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him."

Loretta Lynn, American Musician

Birthday, April, Present

"With a recent birthday, I've been acting now for twenty years."

Thayer David, American Actor

Birthday, Acting, Now, Years

"On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles."

Mary Antin, Russian Activist

Birthday, Police

"I wasn't very good about juggling family and my career. I was interested in who was coming to the children's birthday party, what my son was writing. I was thinking about Legos."

Jill Clayburgh, American Actress

Birthday, Family, Son, Career

"I grew up doing all that stuff because I was obsessed with the '50s. I had sock hops for birthday parties. So I've always done The Twist and stuff. It was pretty natural and, with my parents doing it all the time, I'd just copy them. Not very pretty."

Brittany Snow, American Actress

Birthday, Time, Parents, Pretty

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Car

"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

Purpose

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

People

"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."

Argument

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

Friendship

"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."

Future

"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"

Gender

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Exlpore more Birthday quotes

"I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too."

"My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing."

"We didn't have a whole lot of money when I was growing up either. I would always ask for magic books or magic tricks for my birthday or for Christmas and the rest of the year I either had to mow lawns or find part time jobs to help supplement the cost of doing magic."

"I'm trying to get the record that I made at my birthday party last year, trying to get that out, and the lawyers are diddling around with it and it probably won't be out until next year. I don't know."

"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."

"My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him."

"With a recent birthday, I've been acting now for twenty years."

"On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles."

"I wasn't very good about juggling family and my career. I was interested in who was coming to the children's birthday party, what my son was writing. I was thinking about Legos."

"I grew up doing all that stuff because I was obsessed with the '50s. I had sock hops for birthday parties. So I've always done The Twist and stuff. It was pretty natural and, with my parents doing it all the time, I'd just copy them. Not very pretty."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."

"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."

"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"