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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Explore more quotes by J.R. Ward
"Funny thing about glass. When you broke the shit up, it got pissed and bit back."
"Without time, you have only the bottomless, shapeless mire of eternity....Time is what gives life significance."
"As far as he was concerned, there were only two good positions for a human. A female on her back. And a male facedown not breathing."
"An active mind didn't need distractions in its physical environment. It needed a collection of outstanding books and a good lamp. Maybe some cheese and crackers."
"Okay, well...how's that water feeling, then?' 'Excuse me?' 'The Nile warm this time of the year?"
"Man, it was a good thing vampires didn't get cancer. Lately he'd been chain-smoking like a felon."
"And mortal terror in a female was Z's favorite turn-on. He got off on it like most males favored crap from Victoria's Secret."
"When I picked up the bird and felt its light weight in my hands, I realized that carelessness was a form of cruelty. See, I'd always told myself that because I meant no harm, anything that happened wasn't my fault. At that moment, though, I knew I was wrong. If I hadn't given the female my gun, the bird wouldn't have been shot. I was responsible even though I didn't pull the trigger."
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