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Eoin Colfer

"All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket."

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"All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket."

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Asa Don Brown

"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."

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Asa Don Brown

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

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Asa Don Brown

"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."

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Asa Don Brown

"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."

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Asa Don Brown

"Never make fun of people who are different...unless they have more money, power and influence. Then you must."

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Asa Don Brown

"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."

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Asa Don Brown

"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."

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Asa Don Brown

"Lebanese freedom of speech : You get to say whatever you like as long as the authorities approve of it... Hilarious."

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Asa Don Brown

"Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature."

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Asa Don Brown

"Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with."

Explore more quotes by Eoin Colfer

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Eoin Colfer
"Victor Vigny: A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.Conor Broekhart: Which resembles a giant banana."
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Eoin Colfer
"All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket."
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Eoin Colfer
"A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old."
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Eoin Colfer
"We are different, my friend. We are visionaries. A monkey looks up and sees and banana, and that is as far as he looks. But a visionary looks up and sees the moon."
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Eoin Colfer
"Orion nodded, then asked, 'Dwarf cheese?'Cheese made by dwarfs.'Oh, said Orion, relieved. 'They make it. It's not actually . . .'No. What a horrible thought.'Exactly."
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Eoin Colfer
"Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building."
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Eoin Colfer
"Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts."
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Eoin Colfer
"Me,' Artemis blurted. 'I'm the nut.'Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.'I'm the nut!' Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said."
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Eoin Colfer
"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."
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Eoin Colfer
"Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know."
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