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"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'"
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"You must have been a beautiful baby, 'Cos baby just look at you now."
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Personal Development
"He was so good with the kids on the set. He just knew exactly how to handle them. The baby would cry and Vin would hold him and do all these weird sounds and the baby would stop crying. It was really cute."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm always happy when I'm cleaning, and besides, I had just found out that I was going to have a baby."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was the fattest baby in Clark County, Arkansas. They put me in the newspaper. It was like a prize turnip."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view."
Author Name
Personal Development
"For me, there's a big difference between having a baby in your 20s and having a baby in your 40s."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If the feminist program goes to pieces on the arrival of the first baby, it's false and useless."
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
Future
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
Argument
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