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"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips
"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
Exlpore more Worth quotes
"An ugly jar full of water is worth more than an empty beautiful one in the desert."
"If roses were not special weeds would not envy them."
"Don't some people say, 'You did not value me'? What value did you have at all? Go ask the ocean, 'what is my worth?' You will be swept away with one wave. The owner of many waves has swept away many a people like you! Worth is in those people who have no attachment-abhorrence."
"The only bond worth anything between human beings is their humanness."
"A man that knows your worth doesn't need to be told how to treat you. That's a given! You won't have to question his feelings, his motives, nor his intentions. How will I know? You ask. See, he will freely show you how he feels and prove it consistently. If you're settling for anything less than what you deserve. Then, maybe you don't even know your worth."
"I've always followed the rule that anything worth doing is worth doing excessively."
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