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"Can I come in?No! I'm in a towel!I'm blind!"
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Explore more quotes by James Patterson

"I grew up in a house full of women: my mother, grandmother, three sisters, and two female cats. And I still have the buzz of their conversations in my head. As an adult, I have more female friends than male ones: I just love the way that women talk."

"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."

"Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice."

"Max, if you survive your final test, can you steal me one of those magic outfits for me?" I'll try to get one for each of us. Hey! 'If'?"

"He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. "You're black."I prefer canine-American, said Total."

"Let's face it: Most of us don't realize it, but we are failing our kids as reading role models. The best role models are in the home: brothers, fathers, grandfathers; mothers, sisters, grandmothers. Moms and dads, it's important that your kids see you reading. Not just books - reading the newspaper is good, too."
Exlpore more Humor quotes

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor."

"What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?" she says after a few minutes of silence have passed."Honestly?""Does now seem like the time for honesty?"I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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