"I'm pro-forwards. Do I want the Seventies to come back? No. The haircuts were terrible. Everyone stank. The food was awful."

Humor, Change, Modernity, Preference

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"I'm pro-forwards. Do I want the Seventies to come back? No. The haircuts were terrible. Everyone stank. The food was awful."

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"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Blood, Survival, Friendship

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Laughter, Sanity, Life

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise

"If I knew what two and two were " I would say Four!"

Idries Shah, Indian Author

Humor, Simplicity, Logic, Numbers

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"If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made, I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil."

Emotional, Feeling, Oil

"In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich."

Future, Will

"When you crop the photo, you tell a lie."

Lie,

"Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin."

Age, Forget, Invention

"What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?"

God, People

"Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common."

People, Americans, Fact, Nothing

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"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

"If I knew what two and two were " I would say Four!"

Explore more quotes by Doug Coupland

"Technology favors horrible people."

"Figure out what it is in life you don't do well, and then don't do it."

"Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure."

"The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself."

"If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made, I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil."

"In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich."

"When you crop the photo, you tell a lie."

"Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin."

"What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?"

"Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common."