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"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."
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"Paul Simon started piling up a lot of words, more than the bar could handle, and I stopped!"

"Yes and, you know, I can't use the nice words anymore because I used to chicken out by using them. I used to call myself plus size, used to call myself chubby. I used to call myself overweight."

"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."

"Everything that Traffic ever did, I'd give Steve a complete lyric, titled, written out with the verse, the bridge, the shape and rhyme and then Steve had to figure out how the meter of the words would fit musically."

"I consider the process of gestation just as important as when you're actually sitting down putting words to the paper."

"I consider looseness with words no less of a defect than looseness of the bowels."
Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner


"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."


"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."


"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid."


"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"


"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."


"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
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