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"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."
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"The world's most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife."
"If you say a word against a 'sensitive' person, it will have an immediate effect. In reality, words are simply a 'record' playing."
"Be aware that the more often a child hears the word no, the greater his need to say no himself."
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"And it should be the law: If you use the word "paradigm" without knowing what the dictionary says it means, you go to jail. No exceptions."
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"If you have ever been in a real tragic or sad situation, the words that come out are hopelessly inadequate and kind of cliched."
"Most metaphysical words in Hopi are verbs, not nouns as in European languages."
"'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.'"
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Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner
"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
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