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"You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex."
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"Your best protection is to have an established agent make the contact."
"Television is now the dominant factor in the lives of too many American children."
"As far as the media is concerned, I wouldn't shoot anything down."
"By the way, I understand that now you can have the Times delivered to your door here in the Twin Cities."
"I look for those moments that are "gee whiz" moments. There's some "gee whiz" stories in our show, and they can't be written like A-1 in the Times. They have to be written more like Page 6 in the Post."
"If you were an alien who came to our bookstores - or browsed our teen magazines - you'd think that only Earth girls who look like Mila Kunis ever got any action."
"Well, American dialects have been studied for a hundred years or so."
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson
"Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled."
"That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil."
"I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again."
"The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those - maybe everyone - who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something - innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should never be pressed"
"School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I remain thankful. I would have died otherwise. As soon as I was able, I read, alone. Under the covers with a flashlight or in my corner of the attic - I sought solace in books. It was from books that I started to get an inkling of the kinds of assholes I was dealing with. I found allies too, in books, characters my age who were going through or had triumphed against the same bullshit."
"Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands."
"I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane."
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