"Never eat potato chips without first opening the packet!"

Humor, Advice, Fun, Food

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"Never eat potato chips without first opening the packet!"

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Confusion, Logic, Irony

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Women, Needs, Attention

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

Charles Bukowski, American Author

Humor, Action, Life, Absurdity

Explore more quotes by Anthony T. Hincks

"People who are two faced, usually forget which mask they are wearing at some point in their life."

Psychology

"Meetings! Meetings! Meetings!Do they ever achieve anything or do they just let a lot of hot air out of an already over inflated balloon?"

Communication

"I count my blessings as follows:1) I'm alive.2) Beauty is in the world all around me.3) I share my love with everyone and not just a select few.4) I give thanks to whoever made and created us no matter which religion it my be.5) I never stop smiling, laughing and being happy.6) I try and help those who need it the most.7) I try not to hate, injure or kill anything or anyone.8) I share what I have even if I don't have a much.9) I write and share my thoughts so that it may bring comfort to other people.10) I never ask for anything for me from anyone.11) I follow the other 10 blessings."

Spiritual

"We dream that we're all different. The reality is that we're all not."

Identity

"Visionaries create dreams out of thin air!"

Vision

"I know where I come from, but what I want to know is, where am I going?"

Identity

"Animals will always have sad eyes because they can see into the soul of man."

Animals

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

Explore more quotes by Anthony T. Hincks

"People who are two faced, usually forget which mask they are wearing at some point in their life."

"Never eat potato chips without first opening the packet!"

"An unknown road will always lead somewhere where you haven't been before."

"When you're frozen in time, nothing else really seems to matter."

"Meetings! Meetings! Meetings!Do they ever achieve anything or do they just let a lot of hot air out of an already over inflated balloon?"

"We dream that we're all different. The reality is that we're all not."

"Visionaries create dreams out of thin air!"

"I know where I come from, but what I want to know is, where am I going?"

"Animals will always have sad eyes because they can see into the soul of man."