"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"

Blind, Help

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"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"

Exlpore more Blind quotes

"Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind."

Marston Bates, American Scientist

Blind, Research

"Sometimes, I feel I am really blessed to be blind because I probably would not last a minute if I were able to see things."

Stevie Wonder, American Musician

Blind,

"When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black hat - which isn't there."

Charles Bowen, English Judge

Blind, Man

"There I was, an 18-year-old mimic rooming with a blind whistler."

Art Carney, American Actor

Blind,

"I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face."

Rodney Dangerfield, American Comedian

Blind, Day, Man, Reading

"You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind."

Johnny Knoxville, American Actor

Blind, Light

"When someone demands blind obedience, you'd be a fool not to peek."

Jim Fiebig, American Author

Blind, Fool, Obedience

"Bogart could have been color blind. He got to know a man before he decided if he liked him or not."

Sammy Davis, Jr., American Entertainer

Blind, Man, Sammy Davis, Jr.

"It is we that are blind, not fortune."

Thomas Browne, British Scientist

Blind, Fortune

"Zeal is very blind, or badly regulated, when it encroaches upon the rights of others."

Pasquier Quesnel, French Theologian

Blind, Rights, Zeal

Explore more quotes by Tommy Cooper

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

Driving

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

Age

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

Drink

"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."

Night

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Car

"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"

Marriage

"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"

Thought

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

Building

"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."

Now

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"

Kitchen