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Rick Riordan

"Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip...And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week."

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"Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip...And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week."

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"Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade."

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"Oh, I can't help quoting you, because everything that you said rings true."

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"She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner."

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"What is perfectly true is perfectly witty."

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"Because if you've got the wit, you can make anything into a melody, ultimately."

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"Great men may jest with saints 'tis wit in them But in the less foul profanation."

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"The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles."

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"You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.'Nope,' I replied."

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"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"

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"Leo grabbed the neasrest thing he could find- a Porta-Potty seat- and threw it at the face. Leve me alone!"
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"And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!"Mr.D turned hi eyes away from me and gave Nico a look of loathing. "The wine dude?""Dionysus, right? Oh, wow! I've got your figurine!""My figurine.""In my game, Mythomagic. And holofoil card, too! And even though you've only got like five hundred attack points and everybody thinks your the lamest god card, I totally think your powers are sweet!""Ah." Mr.D seemed truly perplexed, which probably saved my life. "Well, that's...gratifying."
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"This is Annabeth, Jason said. "Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people."
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"Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or...""Or we'll die?" I guessed."Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes.""Let's avoid the swords," I decided."
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"She had to go on this quest. The fate of the world might depend on it. But part of him wanted to say: Forget the world. He didn't want to be without her."
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"Love is on every side, and no one's side. Don't ask what Love can do for you."
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"Jason always tried to build a good relationship with his team. He'd learned the hard way that if somebody was going to have your back in a fight, it was better if you found some common ground and trusted each other. But Nico wasn't easy to figure out."
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"Flirting with random women in a tavern? That sounds like Helios. Well, it sounds like most of the gods, actually."
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"To call the place an anthill would be like calling the Versailles Palace a single-family home. Earthen ramparts rose almost to the tops of the surrounding trees--a hundred feet at least. The circumference could have accommodated a Roman hippodrome. A steady stream of soldiers and drones swarmed in and out of the mound. Some carried fallen trees. One, inexplicably, was dragging a 1967 Chevy Impala."
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"I was flying right toward him (the pig) at the speed of demigod-smashing."
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