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James Patterson

"If you're going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now...Things are almost never as bad as they first seem. Loosen up, girlfriend... you could giggle more in real life."

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"If you're going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now...Things are almost never as bad as they first seem. Loosen up, girlfriend... you could giggle more in real life."

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Amber Hurdle

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

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Amber Hurdle

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

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Amber Hurdle

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

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Amber Hurdle

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

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Amber Hurdle

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

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Amber Hurdle

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

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James Patterson
"Always expect the unexpected. Right around Thanksgiving, when the new Alex Cross will be out. It's called Four Blind Mice and it's a pretty amazing story about several murders inside the military."
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James Patterson
"Behind every successful woman, there's a big prick."
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James Patterson
"Some kids get called 'bundles of joy' or 'slices of heaven' or 'dreams come true.' We got 'the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.' Doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I'm oversensitive."
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James Patterson
"Our parents were a test tube and a turkey baster."
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James Patterson
"Just because life is hard, and always ends in a bad way, doesn't mean that all stories have to, even if that's what they tell us in school and in the New York Times Review. In fact, it's a good thing that stories are as different as we are, one from another."
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James Patterson
"Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet."
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James Patterson
"Denial is not just a river in Egypt."
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James Patterson
"People want us, or want us dead, because of what we are, not who we are. It's hard."
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James Patterson
"There's always be a me and you."
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James Patterson
"The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective."
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