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"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
Argument
"What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm."
Favorite
"My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend."
Mother
"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."
Family
"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."
Wife
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
Wife
"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."
Mother
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
Wife
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
Father
"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
Drink
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"I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'm a guy that's stopped drinking, though this interview is making me mighty thirsty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I dare not drink before a gig because I'll get tired and blow it. So I have to sit drinking tea in a caravan."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The piano has been drinking, not me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When animators weren't sleeping, they were drinking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I quit drinking, so I can think clear. When you have chop trouble, drinking doesn't help the healing process."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
Author Name
Personal Development
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