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"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
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"I've been drinking and using since I was 13."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Drinking intensifies all your pressures and your needs."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation."
Author Name
Personal Development
"At the Olympics in China, every color was represented... and that was just the drinking water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It totally ruins my voice. I quit smoking, drinking, and doing ecstasy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'm a guy that's stopped drinking, though this interview is making me mighty thirsty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The piano has been drinking, not me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I prepared for the part by drinking, but I was sober when I was performing."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
Argument
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
Father
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
Wife
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Wife
"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
Ugly
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
Opinion
"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
Luck
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
Car
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
Wife
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
Life
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