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"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
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Exlpore more Drink quotes
"I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow."
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
"Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit."
"I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking."
"I get really saucy after a few drinks. Sexy rude, not obnoxious rude."
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."
"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
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