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"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
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Exlpore more Drink quotes
"Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit."
"I'm the kind of person who'll have a few drinks and fall asleep at 11."
"I have no inhibitions about smoking or drinking, but I think too much of my voice to place it in jeopardy. I have spent many good years in training and cultivating it, and I would be foolish to do anything which might impair or ruin it."
"I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow."
"Now tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably has betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."
"With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!"
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