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"Take a pinch of snuff, doctor, and acknowledge that I have scored over you in your example."
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"The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles."
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Personal Development
"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."
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Personal Development
"My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she'll end up taking over."
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Personal Development
"This is a lot more satisfying," he said, "when I have intelligent life whom I can render awed, rapt with attention for my clever verbosity."The ugly lizard-crab-thing on the next rock over clicked its claw, an almost hesitant sound."Your right, of course," Wit said. "My usual audience isn't particularly intelligent. That was also the obvious joke, however, so shame on you."
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Personal Development
"Great men may jest with saints 'tis wit in them But in the less foul profanation."
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Personal Development
"Look, he's winding up the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike."
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Personal Development
"Make the doors upon a woman's wit,and it will out at the casement;shut that, and 'twill out at the key-hole;stop that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney."
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Personal Development
"And are you going to explain why you consider competing with me to be the most sincere form of compliment? "Of course I am, Lightsong said. "My dear, have you ever known me to make an inflammatorily ridiculous statement without providing an equally ridiculous explanation to substantiate it? "Of course not, she agreed. "You are nothing if not exhaustive in your self-congratulatory made-up logic. "I am rather exceptional in that regard."
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Personal Development
"Wit must be foiled by wit: cut a diamond with a diamond."
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Personal Development
"His foe was folly and his weapon wit."
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"His ignorance was as remarkable as his knowledge."
Knowledge
"Sir Walter, with his 61 years of life, although he never wrote a novel until he was over 40, had, fortunately for the world, a longer working career than most of his brethren."
Life
"I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose."
Man
"We can't command our love, but we can our actions."
Love
"You will, I am sure, agree with me that... if page 534 only finds us in the second chapter, the length of the first one must have been really intolerable."
Writing
"From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other."
Possibility
"It is fortunate for this community that I am not a criminal."
Justice
"As a rule, the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify."
Crime
"In my inmost heart I believed that I could succeed where others failed, and now I had the opportunity to test myself."
Success
"It is, I admit, mere imagination; but how often is imagination the mother of truth?"
Philosophy
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