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"The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly."
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"It is obvious that anything a scientist discovers or invents is based on previous discoveries and inventions. The same applies to the arts."
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Personal Development
"Television has some lovely aspects to it - and some ghastly aspects - but the theater itself was a wonderful invention."
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Personal Development
"Aliens didn't come down to Earth and give us technology. We invented it ourselves. Therefore it can never be alienating it can only be an expression of our humanity."
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Personal Development
"Wonderful invention, the phonograph. Keeps a man alive long after he's dead."
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Personal Development
"The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly."
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Personal Development
"I did not grasp all these details - and many more - right away. They came to my notice with time and as a result of necessity. I would be in the direst of dire straits, facing a bleak future, when some small thing, some detail, would transform itself and appear in my mind in a new light. It would no longer be the small thing it was before, but the most important thing in the world, the thing that would save my life. This happened time and again. How true it is that necessity is the mother of invention, how very true."
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Personal Development
"Most of them are doomed to rapid extinction, but a few may make evolutionary inventions, such as physiological, ecological, or behavioral innovations that give these species improved competitive potential."
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Personal Development
"Melodic invention is one of the surest signs of a divine gift."
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Personal Development
"We are not a Zappa cover band. We only play Frank's songs that were recorded by the Mothers of Invention and I think a lot of those songs were complex."
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Personal Development
"As far as I'm concerned, the essentials of jazz are: melodic improvisation, melodic invention, swing, and instrumental personality."
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"People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy."
Car
"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'"
Ability
"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is."
Fun
"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"
Cause
"The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly."
Invention
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
Time
"I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs."
Time
"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."
Birthday
"Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest."
Computer
"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."
Love
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