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Phyllis Diller

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."

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"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."

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Amber Hurdle

"Prepare for death, if here at night you roam, and sign your will before you sup from home."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Maybe that's the best part of going away for a vacation-coming home again."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Everything I'd been longing to get away from, true, but not through destruction. I'd wanted to leave home, but have it stay in place, waiting for me, unchanged, so I could step back into it at will."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I was studying American politicians who were searching - allegedly - for American communists because it would put them on the front pages of the papers in their home towns."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"We improved the environment in which our children live, learn and play by decreasing crime and clamping down on abuse and violence in the home and on the streets."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"My mother was a churchgoing lady, so I always heard about God at home."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"It is often easier to become outraged by injustice half a world away than by oppression and discrimination half a block from home."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Having been let out of the barn once, I know I wouldn't be happy if I were home all the time."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Home is anywhere that you know all your friends and all your enemies."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I was brought up in the modern world of all the luxury and the highlight of show business. I was born into a Christian home."

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Phyllis Diller
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

Time

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Phyllis Diller
"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."

Mistake

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Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger

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Phyllis Diller
"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

Age

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Phyllis Diller
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."

Thought

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Phyllis Diller
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

Woman

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Phyllis Diller
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

Growing up

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

Blood

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Phyllis Diller
"I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing."

Years

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Phyllis Diller
"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."

Reason

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