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P. J. O'Rourke

"Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies."

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"Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

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Amber Hurdle

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

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Amber Hurdle

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

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Amber Hurdle

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

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Amber Hurdle

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

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Amber Hurdle

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

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Amber Hurdle

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

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Amber Hurdle

"If I knew what two and two were " I would say Four!"

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Amber Hurdle

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

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P. J. O'Rourke
"I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The problem, when comparing contemporary television to television in 1974, is that TV has become not just bad but sad."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Never fight an inanimate object."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380 SL convertible."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."
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P. J. O'Rourke
"If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas."
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