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"A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world."
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"I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If we intensify our efforts we can have a cloned baby within a year or two, but I don't know whether we can intensify our efforts to that extent. We're not really under pressure to deliver a cloned baby to this world. What we are under pressure to do is to deliver a cloned baby that is a healthy one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Melanie is more of a disciplinarian with the little girl than me, probably because it's my first baby. She gets everything easy from Papa. I am more weak. She takes advantage of me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Senorita was fun to sing, but I don't really have a favorite. When you write a bunch of songs, they're like your babies. You don't pick favorites."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm always happy when I'm cleaning, and besides, I had just found out that I was going to have a baby."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think I would be very sad if I wasn't able to have a baby."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Parenthood always comes as a shock. Postpartum blues? Postpartum panic is more like it. We set out to have a baby; what we get is a total take-over of our lives."
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Personal Development
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"A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world."
Baby
"Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!"
Pity
"When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience."
Work
"We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth... or couldn't get better jobs in the first place."
People
"I've had great success being a total idiot."
Success
"Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands."
Dream
"People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius."
Genius
"I get paid for what most kids get punished for."
Kids
"I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope."
Life
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